funny bone

I'm not a huge magazine person, but Reader's Digest is something I can't live without. I could live without Family Circle if I had to, but the Reader's is a must. This month, October 2011, it was the "Increase Your Funny Power" issue. Meaning the best jokes, comics, and stories are jam-packed in there in categories. It's like going fishing and pulling up a ten dollar bill instead of a fish (which actually happened to my friend, Alec!). It's a jackpot.

Here are some of my favorites.... just to hopefully make you smile:

Dark Humor: When I was a nurse, my favorite assignment was the anorexia ward. I sometimes ate as many as 17 dinners.

Gibe: They say you shouldn't say anything about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good.

A converastion of Facebook:

Amanda: luisa, I am hungary

Luisa: maybe you should czech the fridge

Amanda: im russian to the kitchen

Luisa: maybe you will find some turkey

Amanda: we have some but it is covered in greece

Luisa: ew, there is norway you can eat that

Amanda: I think I'll settle for a can of chile

Luisa: I would love a canada chile as well.

Amanda: denmark your name on the can

Riposte: When Lady Astor became annoyed with a soused Winston Churchill, she blurted out, "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." Churchill replied, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Army Stories: One of my soldiers in Afghanistan wanted to surprise his wife with flowers for Valentine's Day, but he was afraid she would see the bill before the flowers arrived. So I offered to put the flowers on my credit card and have him pay me in cash. The plan worked great until after Valentine's Day when my wife got a florist bill for $120 but no flowers.

Grave Mistakes: If you saw these on your obituary, you would be embarrassed too.

-She leaves behind her husband and 117 cats.

-Passed away attempting a stunt that has 40 million views on YouTube already.

-Was always quick to point out others' grammatical errors.

Anyways, I hope those at least sparked a happy nerve inside. I loved em. I mean, there is norway you can't!