This is me on my first day of high school. In two weeks, I turn 16. In my religion and culture of the community, 16 is like a coming-out age. I get to drive and date. It has always seemed so far away..... I never thought I'd make it. I still feel like I should be 12 years old. Here is mini look back on my life, at least the last six years.

The days before I could actually pirouette correctly....

When Erin could pick me up....

When carving a pumpkin was hard..... (actually still is)

When I was barely trusted to hold a baby...

When I didn't have to shave my legs....

When this was normal behavior...

When I had braces....

When I really did look like I was 5 years younger than everyone else...

When I was in elementary...

I can't believe those pictures are the same person! I don't think I can move on! haha.

I loved being young and will probably always act that way. But, the freedom to drive somewhere and possibly go on a date sounds nice too. It is just weird.

Personality: 2

Kirsten brought a book to our Yellowstone trip. In it, you can find out your personality type. I really wanted to find out what mine was! It was hard to answer questions though. It makes you feel vulnerable admitting simple facts about yourself. Deciding how you REALLY act opposed to how you WANT to act. Wanna hear the verdict?

I'm Number 2, The Helper.

The Helper is self-sacrificing and often neglects their personal needs because they want to help others. Their basic fear is being unloved and their desire is to be wanted and loved. Our super-ego is that we will be good or okay if we are making other people happy. (This is all from memory, I'm pretty sure its all right). I'm definitely not saying any of this to brag or anything, but I couldn't believe how true all the aspects were for me. My fear of being unloved is huge. It bubbles up and presents itself often.

I think this is why I freakout.... in my head... often. Things quietly fell apart at the beginning of summer with a best friend, and since, I guess I felt like a loner. Everything is good with them but I realize now how I really feared being unloved. Its kinda crazy, huh?

Personalities are pretty cool. I like mine.

You know how I want to be a landscape architect? I have a hard time remembering plant names, and I am always asking for their names over and over. So I decided I am going to make a photolog/scrapbook/identification book of my favorite plants and.... my other favorite plants. I started taking pictures of a few plants and flowers in our yard yesterday, so here are a few.

Lamb's Ear

Fern (i don't know how specific that is....=])

Lilly of the Valley

Again, Lilly of the Valley. This is my favorite plant in the whole world. I love it.

I didn't get that gene.

wow. I always just thought my blog was viewed every couple days, by my friends or siblings. Or that is what the stats say. And these are the 28% of stats that aren't made up! (joke. inside? kinda.)But anyways, I was almost embarrassed some people read this blorg. I guess I wasn't used to it. So thank you! You guys are way cool.

Beck Kid - THANK YOU! You are the best doctor I have ever had in my life. Even though you can't legally give me drugs, your advice and such is worth just as much. First, making me go to bed that one night when I obviously couldn't think or stand straight. But then on top of it all, you diagnosed my crooked smile! The dilemma is over! Especially, cause lately kids have been asking me if I had a stroke when I was younger... haha. Peripheral Neuropathy. Maybe Mononeurpathy. I read up on it, and was so excited! I owe you much.

Alexis - I am so glad you now know the fetus has a blorg! I am very apologetic for missing the Viewmont Preview. But I promise I will attend the school and be your fetus next year :) whoa... your fetus? That sounds weird....how 'bout I will be your best friend? Great.

Teresa - AH! I love you! Did I ever say how much I loved your dress at the tea party? You are such a lady. I think you need to come over and play your guitar again. And I can't wait to go to school with you next year! I count down the days! Or imagine so.

Thanks to everyone who reads this, it means a lot! Wabam.

+ Today, my mom gave me the BEST pep-talk on the subject of not caring. Because I was being ridiculous today by letting people get to me, especially the ones who have heads the size of mailboxes. I love my mom. She is my best friend.

+ Also today, Romeo and Juliet died. We finally finished the book today. I really liked it. But it kinda was a bummer....

P.S. CORRECTION:

Ellen's solitaire record is 44 seconds, not 2 minutes like I had stated. Let it be known.

crooked in the smile.

I have always had a crooked smile.

And I really like it. I used to never smile with my teeth because I hated it, but now I LOVE that it is unique and sets me apart.

Here I am, 14, and my smile is still distinguished!

I went to the doctor in 6th grade, in hopes of getting my tonsils out, but he noticed my crooked smile. He knew right away the long name for it, and sadly I don't remember what it is! It has something to do with dead muscle and stuff. So I have been researching about it, trying to find out what it is! No luck, mostly everything I find is related to kidney failure, Bell's Palsy, and serious conditions I am pretty sure I don't have. So I hope someday I can find out what it is.

I would like to know.

Trogdor! Guitar! Pencils!

pardon the blurriness: I just wanted to show my awesome Trogdor shirt that I got for Christmas! I also got a Teen Girl Squad shirt, action figures (thanks Shayla), a Strong Bad tattoo, and Homestarrunner DVD Volume 1! (Thanks Cam and Kirst). So this Christmas was very much so a Homestarrunner Christmas. I think my birthday is gonna be Star Trek themed.

I am learning to play guitar! I Have this awesome friend, Andrew, who is teaching me. My fingers are still red, but I keep the guitar in my room and just play it all the time! It is so much fun. I love learning to play music.

I love sharpened colored pencils. So I took some pictures of them. Then I used my super cool PHOTOSHOP on them!

I enjoy it a lot. All thanks to Santa Claus.

Erin: I miss you. Come back.

thesaurus, lexicon, terminology....

Everyone has their little quirks and little things about them. Little things they love, things they always do, their reactions, everything working together to make them an individual. I love discovering these things about people. What makes them THEM, ya know? It is interesting to me. People are interesting.

Anyways, what I am getting to is this. Two things about me, that are completely dorky, but are something interesting about me.

First, I am in love with the thesaurus. It is no lie that I could spend a good few hours in the Thesaurus. Expanding my vocabulary has almost become a hobby. I am highly entertained and love visiting the Thesaurus. I look up common words, words I hear, and find new words I can use, or words I recognize. I like to find where things are relevant.

Second, solitaire is my addiction. It is like my stress ball, it calms me down completely. I play it almost every night before bed. I play it every free second I have. And I am getting better and faster at it. My fastest is like 4 min 40 seconds-ish. Of course that doesn't compare to Ellen's 2 minutes, but still! Solitaire is my comfort zone. It lets my mind focus, and I could swear it solves my problems. Maybe because it lets my mind sort through everything. So there you have it!

life is just beginning...

I never thought I would say this:

I miss school.

That really did just come out of my mouth. Weird, eh? I haven't gone to school for the past three days. I have missed 3 tests, 2 quizzes, and even more assignments. It will be a blast making it all up! I think one reason I miss school is cause I wouldn't have to make up all this stuff. Oh well.

But the past three days have been awesome/terrible. I hurt my neck, probably from sleeping on it wrong Saturday night, and at first I couldn't turn my head to the right. Then I couldn't hold it up straight, so I had to hold up my head with my hand. If I put my neck too far to the right, it would shoot pain.

BUT.

My favorite Cam and Kirsten let me watch their Season 6 of Star Trek!

Just imagine. Sitting on the couch all day just watching Star Trek TNG. It was HEAVEN (once I felt good enough to enjoy it). I have a growing admiration for Brent Spiner. He plays Commander Data, and he is the most gifted actor I have ever seen! He has to act like he has no emotion or feelings, which is so hard!

I love Data.

I also loved missing all the drama at school. Its awesome not to be involved in the drama! Haha! But can I say I have the most amazing friends? Yesterday, I had at least four of them call! Then two of them brought me cookies! (they tasted amazing....yum) It made me so happy! The days can get kinda lonely.

Anyhow, I get to go to school tomorrow! I am SO excited!!!! I can't wait to see all my friends! I am counting down the hours. Not really. But thanks all of my amazing friends. And Matt, good luck! I hope your neck gets better! Kirst, I hope you are doing okay! Anytime you need help with Sam, call :)

LOVES.

green thumb. want one.

I want a garden someday.

Peppers. Not my favorite, but I do appreciate them. Too bad it is now freezing at nights.

Ava showing me all the good stuff.

As of right now, I really want to be a landscape architect when I am older. During dinnger, we were talking about the things we notice. I said I always notice lawns and think how hard they would be to mow. I always notice the curving lines and focuses of yards. Everytime I am at the Stites' house, I pull out their landscape and yard books. They are so fun! I am amazed at our yard, too. My Dad designed it so beautifully. I am excited to have a house so I can make it more than a house sitting on a plot of grass. I love the home feel of a yard. Yup, landscape architect.

ThirtyDays

Hey fellas.
I have stolen *with permission* this cool thirty day writing spectacular! I have read some great ones from people like Erin, Karli, and Ellen. So I decided to try it for myself. I will still be posting happenings and pictures of happenings "post the post." Eh? Great then. Lets continue. Here is the list of what will be appearing on my blorg the next thirty days:

Day 1: Your best friend.
Day 2: Someone you secretly think is cute.
Day 3: Your parents.
Day 4: A sibling.
Day 5: Your dreams.
Day 6: A stranger.
Day 7: Your ex-love/crush
Day 8: Your favorite internet friend.
Day 9: Someone you wish you could meet.
Day 10: Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to.
Day 11: Someone who died.
Day 12: The person who has caused you the most pain in your life.
Day 13: Someone you wish would forgive you.
Day 14: Someone you have drifted away from.
Day 15: The person you miss the most.
Day 16: Someone that doesn’t live in your state/country.
Day 17: Someone from your childhood.
Day 18: The person that you wish you could be.
Day 19: Someone that pesters your mind (good or bad.)
Day 20: The person that broke your heart the hardest.
Day 21: Someone you judged by first impression.
Day 22: Someone you want to give a second chance to.
Day 23: Someone who makes you laugh really hard.
Day 24: The person that gave you your favorite memory.
Day 25: A person you know is going through hard times.
Day 26: The last person you made a pinky promise to.
Day 27: The friendliest person you only knew for a day.
Day 28: Someone that changed your life.
Day 29: The person that you want to tell everything to.
Day 30: Your reflection in the mirror.

Mini Letters

Sewing Teacher - you taught me a lot today. Not about sewing though. I loved being the only person there so you can talk to me and teach me. You are like 90 years old, go to the gym three times a week, and have everything memorized from The Constitution to the Presidents of the Church. You helped me connect history with the Church. You made history come alive for me. I loved exchanging thoughts on books and history. I have never liked history before, so thank you for helping me understand its importance.

E-mails from Missionaries - I get SO excited when Sister Grant sends us an email. I can't wait to get home every Thursday just to read your letters. Thanks for being excited about my Seminary and feta cheese. Thanks for your inspiration and saying good things. I miss you. I can't wait to get up at 4:30 in the morning to wait for your call this week :)



Boys - Remember how Ethan was kinda a jerk to me last week? Luckily that is over and things are back to normal. For now. Adam, remember how much we laugh when we talk? Its awesome. I miss having lunch together. But playing basketball with you was awesome last night! Sorry I totally cheated all the time, and I even think I won. Caden, thanks for smiling at me in the hall on Thursday. It was a bad day. You were really sweet.

Rain - I got really wet playing basketball with Adam last night. It felt so good. I am sad I missed everyone getting soaked, but still glad I got pretty wet. It felt like I was letting go, it felt so grood. I love when it rains on the weekend.

She & Him concert - I LOVE YOU! My first concert, you were wonderful. Thanks for letting me see and talk to Colton and Miriam and Beau ("pronounced BO"). I had a blast. Quinn made sure I knew the cigarettes were really suckers, beer was really not beer, and marijuana was perfume. By the way, I am EXPERT at picking out the smell of mary jane. But really, I loved all your music, and I will give you your own post with pictures soon.

Bikes - Thanks for letting me ride you to school. Even though you're hand-me-down and dirty, I still think your so cool. Even if you look funny next to the Beach Cruiser. Sorry I struggled on you, my thighs killed after the concert. I really like you.

My amazing friends - You all deserve to be named. Shayla, Leina, Sydney, Lexi, Kadie, Lindsey, and Sami. I am sorry. For everything. For my neglect. Please don't rub it in my face (lexi.... =]). But you guys made my week a million times better. Thanks for the notes, concern, amazing hugs, laughter, calls, and texts. You were totally there for me, and I want to be there for you. I LOVE YOU!

Family - You are all here this weekend. That is why I am SO happy. I love waking up to all the kidlings and everyone eating breakfast and playing in the rocket in our pajamas. (oh, the rocket will get its own post too. don't fret). I love when you all come home, and I am a little bummed I missed the baby shower last night! But I love coming home and talking and looking at Dave's backpacking pictures. Fun stuff. Love you fellas.

MockingJay - I haven't read you yet. But Karen is reading it right now, and I am totally jealous. Its hard to be in the same house as you book and not read you. :)) I am kinda nervous to read you, though.

Erin - Who knows if she will read this, but you all know how amazing this girl is. She is an amazing example to me, and I love her with all my heart. I hate it when she is sad, it makes me feel sad. She is the most beautiful, loving, and coolest person I know. She is why I even have a bit of style and music taste. I owe her everything. I love you much, cuz. Hope you're feeling better. (I live in the same HOUSE as you, I will just ask you if you are feeling better! =])

Cheese - Thanks for being my favorite inside joke. You know how much I love you. Ethan and Caden make fun of me because I think about you a lot. My history class knows how much I love feta cheese. And everyone knows my obsession with grilled cheese. Thanks for being cool.

whoo. That was a long set of letters. Thanks for listening. Or reading, I mean.
Love and Rockets,
Maddy

If you're partial to the night sky....

Whenever the drama stops, you better enjoy it because it will start back up again the next day. I should just get used to that. But between more love triangles, silly boys, and feelings, I got a major overdose of drama. And I just got sick of it. I was getting stressed and couldn't really focus on anything else.

Ugh.

But I have this great and wonderful sister/best friend/cousin, Erin, who really helps me too much. She drove us in our car to my favorite place and let me do my favorite thing to do.

Yup. We went to the Smoot Park swings. I can just think. With nothing to distract me. The stars were starting to come out, and there I felt like myself again.

We drove around our little town through streets we have never known. We rolled the windows down, let the music play, and let our hair fly in our face.

Thank groodness for cool cousins who do that for you. And then, even better, we slept outside and watched the meteor shower.
It was awesome! We probably saw about 16 meteors before we feel asleep. We saw a REALLY big one right above us, and it was gorgeous.

Anyways. Just an update of boys that are taking a toll on me. But it is all okay, luckily I have amazing parents, family, and friends to talk to.

P.S. more to come about my sister's mission!

Now you get to see a little about me.

These are pictures all about me.

Even though they were like last summer.

My awesome experiments with photo.

Huzzah.

Sometimes I get distracted................

Ha. The good old day of braces.